Chapter Nine - Into Germany
'Did you really think I was dead?’ Paul laughed, speaking as soon as Katka was outside. She flung her arms around him.
‘How did you find me?’ She asked.
Again he laughed, ‘You’re easy to find.’
‘In Prague, in the home, you must have asked there? But are they still looking for me? Oh, I can’t believe you’re not dead.’ Katka said, her words coming in a rush, she hugged him again. ‘Tell me how you got away. What happened that night? I heard a gunshot.’
But Paul only shrugged at these questions. He leant back onto the bench and breathed out, ‘It was nothing.’ he said, ‘Nothing I haven’t been through before.’ and when Katka laughed at this - his bravado, the stupidity of what he had just said - he quickly went on, ‘So you don’t think I’ve been arrested before? Of course I have. And besides, the war’s nearly over. The Germans have got bigger things to worry about now. They’ll all be gone soon.’
‘And what then?’
‘What do you meant, what then? The war will be over, that’s what.’
‘Exactly, so what do I do then? I can’t go back to Prague.’ Katka said.
‘No?’ Paul said, ‘The police are still looking for you - I heard about that - but they won’t care once the war’s over.’
‘So what do I do now?’
‘Stay here. Keep your head down, wait. At least you have an aunt now. You have family.’
‘No.’ Katka said, annoyed, and she told Paul about the factory, ‘I can’t do that work, I can’t supply them with bullets for their guns.’ And she told him about her parents, about her mother’s death, ‘I can’t stay here, Paul. I have to move on. It isn’t my home anymore. I want to go and find my father.’
For a moment Paul was quiet, he looked ahead into the darkness of the square, the cafe on the far side, the empty flower baskets hanging from the lamp-posts. Then he said, ‘It isn’t safe, in a few months maybe, but not now. They say the fighting in the north is intense.’
‘But, Paul, I can’t stay here!’ Katka was suddenly angry.
‘So go back to Prague, get arrested! I don’t know!’ Paul replied, letting his hands fall heavily into his lap in exasperation.
‘Will you help me, Paul?’
‘Help you do what?’
‘My father is in Germany. I want to find him.’
‘You can’t be serious, Katka?’
‘I know - I know what you’re thinking -’ Katka though quickly for the right words to explain, ‘there are a lot of German soldiers but-’
‘There are a lot of dead German soldiers.’ Paul corrected her.
' - But one of them is my father.'
Paul let out a breath. He appeared as if he wanted to say something more, but couldn’t.
‘He could be dead, you’re right, but you have to believe me, Paul. I know that isn’t true. I know he’s alive.’
‘But Katka, what you’re suggesting is dangerous.’
‘Not of we go together, Paul.’ And before he could interrupt again Katka went on, ‘I have money, a lot of money, before I left Prague Jana gave me -’
‘Katka, the money won’t help. You have no way of finding him.’
‘No, I do,’ Katka replied, ‘There is an old woman, I spoke to her yesterday. She said she knew my father, she told me she knew where he had gone.’
‘Katka, I don't know -’ Paul said, but the uncertainty in his voice only spurred Katka on.
‘I’m going to find him, Paul.’ She said, ‘In Germany, I have to and if I die trying I don’t care. Can’t you see? There is nothing here for me, nothing in this town and nothing in Prague. I have lost my mother. I will not lose my father too.’
‘Alright.’ Paul said, resignation sounding in his voice. ‘I’ll help. Just give me time, alright?’
‘Really?’ Katka at once stood up from the bench. It was as if a touch paper had been lit and her body was suddenly filled with energy. ‘You’ll help me? We’ll go to Germany and we’ll look for him?’
Paul nodded, then looked away, ‘Let’s meet again tomorrow.’
Katka smiled. She said good-night to Paul and then watched from the doorway of her aunt’s apartment building as he walked back to the hotel by the station. And then in turn, the next morning Anna watched Katka as she drank her coffee. Nervous eyes through the steam from her cup, ‘Who were you with last night, Katka?’ She asked.
‘What do you mean?’ Katka replied - a feeble attempt at a lie, but the best she could do - Anna question had been so unexpected.
‘I heard you speaking to someone.’ Anna said.
‘You were watching me?’
A lengthy pause followed. They drank their coffee in silence.
‘Just be careful, Katka.’ Anna said eventually.
‘Yes.’ Katka said, but of what she did not know. And as she walked with Anna to the factory - a cold morning, with a bitter wind that brought dust and grit up from the pavement - Katka began to wonder how she could find out from the old woman, where her father had been taken.
And as the day wore on she began to realise what a hopeless task it was. The other women only shrugged when Katka asked where the old woman might be. They weren’t interested in helping her at all and they only watched with unsmiling faces as she and Anna left through the factory gates at the end of their shift.
It was time to give up, thought Katka, to accept that she would never know where her father had gone. But that night everything changed when she met Paul in the square.
‘How did you find me?’ She asked.
Again he laughed, ‘You’re easy to find.’
‘In Prague, in the home, you must have asked there? But are they still looking for me? Oh, I can’t believe you’re not dead.’ Katka said, her words coming in a rush, she hugged him again. ‘Tell me how you got away. What happened that night? I heard a gunshot.’
But Paul only shrugged at these questions. He leant back onto the bench and breathed out, ‘It was nothing.’ he said, ‘Nothing I haven’t been through before.’ and when Katka laughed at this - his bravado, the stupidity of what he had just said - he quickly went on, ‘So you don’t think I’ve been arrested before? Of course I have. And besides, the war’s nearly over. The Germans have got bigger things to worry about now. They’ll all be gone soon.’
‘And what then?’
‘What do you meant, what then? The war will be over, that’s what.’
‘Exactly, so what do I do then? I can’t go back to Prague.’ Katka said.
‘No?’ Paul said, ‘The police are still looking for you - I heard about that - but they won’t care once the war’s over.’
‘So what do I do now?’
‘Stay here. Keep your head down, wait. At least you have an aunt now. You have family.’
‘No.’ Katka said, annoyed, and she told Paul about the factory, ‘I can’t do that work, I can’t supply them with bullets for their guns.’ And she told him about her parents, about her mother’s death, ‘I can’t stay here, Paul. I have to move on. It isn’t my home anymore. I want to go and find my father.’
For a moment Paul was quiet, he looked ahead into the darkness of the square, the cafe on the far side, the empty flower baskets hanging from the lamp-posts. Then he said, ‘It isn’t safe, in a few months maybe, but not now. They say the fighting in the north is intense.’
‘But, Paul, I can’t stay here!’ Katka was suddenly angry.
‘So go back to Prague, get arrested! I don’t know!’ Paul replied, letting his hands fall heavily into his lap in exasperation.
‘Will you help me, Paul?’
‘Help you do what?’
‘My father is in Germany. I want to find him.’
‘You can’t be serious, Katka?’
‘I know - I know what you’re thinking -’ Katka though quickly for the right words to explain, ‘there are a lot of German soldiers but-’
‘There are a lot of dead German soldiers.’ Paul corrected her.
' - But one of them is my father.'
Paul let out a breath. He appeared as if he wanted to say something more, but couldn’t.
‘He could be dead, you’re right, but you have to believe me, Paul. I know that isn’t true. I know he’s alive.’
‘But Katka, what you’re suggesting is dangerous.’
‘Not of we go together, Paul.’ And before he could interrupt again Katka went on, ‘I have money, a lot of money, before I left Prague Jana gave me -’
‘Katka, the money won’t help. You have no way of finding him.’
‘No, I do,’ Katka replied, ‘There is an old woman, I spoke to her yesterday. She said she knew my father, she told me she knew where he had gone.’
‘Katka, I don't know -’ Paul said, but the uncertainty in his voice only spurred Katka on.
‘I’m going to find him, Paul.’ She said, ‘In Germany, I have to and if I die trying I don’t care. Can’t you see? There is nothing here for me, nothing in this town and nothing in Prague. I have lost my mother. I will not lose my father too.’
‘Alright.’ Paul said, resignation sounding in his voice. ‘I’ll help. Just give me time, alright?’
‘Really?’ Katka at once stood up from the bench. It was as if a touch paper had been lit and her body was suddenly filled with energy. ‘You’ll help me? We’ll go to Germany and we’ll look for him?’
Paul nodded, then looked away, ‘Let’s meet again tomorrow.’
Katka smiled. She said good-night to Paul and then watched from the doorway of her aunt’s apartment building as he walked back to the hotel by the station. And then in turn, the next morning Anna watched Katka as she drank her coffee. Nervous eyes through the steam from her cup, ‘Who were you with last night, Katka?’ She asked.
‘What do you mean?’ Katka replied - a feeble attempt at a lie, but the best she could do - Anna question had been so unexpected.
‘I heard you speaking to someone.’ Anna said.
‘You were watching me?’
A lengthy pause followed. They drank their coffee in silence.
‘Just be careful, Katka.’ Anna said eventually.
‘Yes.’ Katka said, but of what she did not know. And as she walked with Anna to the factory - a cold morning, with a bitter wind that brought dust and grit up from the pavement - Katka began to wonder how she could find out from the old woman, where her father had been taken.
And as the day wore on she began to realise what a hopeless task it was. The other women only shrugged when Katka asked where the old woman might be. They weren’t interested in helping her at all and they only watched with unsmiling faces as she and Anna left through the factory gates at the end of their shift.
It was time to give up, thought Katka, to accept that she would never know where her father had gone. But that night everything changed when she met Paul in the square.