‘But I want to know now.’ Katka said, following Jan from the table.
‘No.’ he replied, ‘Not today, not until we have rested and we have discussed the plan.’
‘But please.’ Katka begged and she put out her hand in an attempt to stop Jan, to turn him around, to shout at him if necessary, ‘Who is my father, where can I find him?’
But in reply Jan only turned around and roughly took hold of Katka’s hand, gripping it in his big fist so that it hurt. Katka winced at the pain. ‘I said tomorrow.’ he bellowed. Then for a long moment he kept hold of Katka’s arm, stared at her with wide angry eyes before slowly letting go and walking from the room.
Katka rubbed gently at the tender skin of her wrist as she watched him leave. She watched as he walked up the stairs and out of sight and only then did she turn back to the table. As she did so caught sight of Petr. He had been watching, his head lowered and on his face a wicked grin. He looked up at Katka as she took her place again, but he didn’t say a word.
Katka glared at him. She tried to express on her face how much she hated him. He made no effort to conceal the fact that he had enjoyed the argument, he had enjoyed watching Katka suffer and the smile stayed on his face for a long time, until he turned to Rudi, who was still sitting next to Paul, and said something in German and causing him to laugh.
‘What?’ Katka asked, ‘What is it?’
But the men ignored her. They had begun talking about something and they paid no attention to Katka, speaking in German and even Paul became involved in the conversation.
They laughed are laughing at my expense, thought Katka, and this made her hate the two men even more, but what made her angry, what really filled her with rage, was Paul. He had said nothing when Petr and Rudi were laughing at her and now he was talking and joking in German with his two new friends. It was as if he had forgotten about Katka completely.
Katka ran from the room and slammed shut the bedroom door, burying her face in the thick pillow of one of the beds. She screamed, cursed. How could Paul be so fickle, she thought. To be so close a friend for so long and then to act so callously so suddenly.
But despite her rage, it wasn’t long before Katka was asleep. She was more tired that she had thought and even though she could hear the sound of talking from downstairs, and even though she hated them more anything, she drifted into a deep sleep, long and sound and undisturbed by dreams.
But when she woke the next morning her long sleep had done nothing to make her feel refreshed. Instead, when she looked about the room and saw that the other beds had not been slept in because Paul and the two men had spent the entire night drinking in the kitchen, her rage returned at once and she went downstairs at once.
The kitchen was a mess. The table was littered with empty beer bottles and full ashtrays and the three men were asleep, Petr with his head resting on his arms and Rudi on his back on the long bench seat that ran along one side of the table. Paul had just woken up though, he looked up at Katka with bleary morning eyes.
‘What are you, my friend or theirs?’ Katka demanded at once.
Paul acted as if he didn’t know what she meant and gave just a low mumble in reply.
‘So are you one of them now?’ Katka went on, trying to reword her anger and pointing to the table where the three had spent the night. ‘None of the three had made it upstairs last night, where there were enough beds for everyone.’
‘So?’ Paul protested quietly.
‘Since when are you friends with these people?’
‘Be quiet’ Paul said, ‘You’ll wake them -’
‘Wake them?’ Katka scoffed, they’re out cold, ‘Do you not remember that you were up all night, drinking with your new friends?’
‘Katka, please.’ Paul begged, ‘They are not my new friends. No more than they’re your friends. We’re together now, remember? We have to make an effort.’
‘Well you seemed to be getting on pretty well last night.’ Katka spat, ‘And you certainly seemed to be enjoying yourself at my expense.’
‘What are you talking about, Katka. We weren’t -’
‘Yes you were, when I argued with Jan.’
‘No, Katka. You have it al wrong.’ Paul said and he stood up clumsily from the table, knocking an empty bottle to the floor as he did so.
‘Then what?’ She wanted to say, but at the same time realising that it was pointless, that it didn’t matter what he said, it made no difference what they were laughing at. She began to walk away, still angry and without the patience to listen to any more.
‘It was Jan. We were laughing at Jan. not you.’ Paul called after her.
Katka slowed. She had one hand on the banister rail and she was about to walk back upstairs, but she looked back and noticed that Paul had come into the passageway after her. He was behind her, he moved forward and tried to touch her but Katka flinched his hand away, ‘Look, I’m sorry.’ He said, ‘I’m sorry you were upset and I’m sorry you don’t like -’
‘It doesn’t matter, Paul.’ Katka said, a little forcedly.
‘No?’ he said, then looked back towards the table, noticing Rudi was awake. He was rubbing his eyes and looking towards them. Jan went on, speaking more quietly, ‘They are alright, just a little rough around the edges, that’s all.’
Katka looked at them. Like farmers in their dirty clothes, Petr with his bearded face, sunken eyes and cheeks. They looked wild almost, half starved and angry. She let out a long breath and then sat down on the step she had been about to ascend. Paul sat next to her.
‘They have been fighting a long war.’ he said, ‘it’s lasted since Rudi was just a boy. Do you know he’s only the same age as me and he’s been fighting against the Nazis since the very start. Is it any wonder that he is the way he is.’
‘How old was he?’ Katka asked.
Paul shook his head, looked again at the table. ‘I don’t know, thirteen perhaps. He lost his parents to this war. It’s Jan who’s looked after him since then.’ he paused, ‘Katka, come on. We have to accept them the way they are.’
Katka had no answer to this, no comparison to her own life. She even felt a little embarrassed at the way she had felt sorry for herself in the last few days. Although she couldn’t help but still feel bitter at the two figures, crumpled and awful looking at the kitchen table. But it was Petr she especially hated. He was waking now too and he rubbed at his eyes.
‘Petr is different’ Paul admitted, ‘He fought in the first war, he’s been fighting all his life. He told me last night that he was homeless after he left the army, that he lived on the streets and the Nazis tried to take him away. He had to escape.’ Paul paused, ‘We can trust these people, Katka. They are on our side.’
A sudden movement from somewhere above them made both Katka and Paul turn. It was Jan. His big frame momentarily blocked the light on the stairs, ‘We know what we’re doing too.’ he said as he walked the last of the steps, down to where Katka and Paul were sitting. ‘Katka, by the end of the day you will know who your father is, I promise you that.’ He put his hand on Katka’s shoulder as he passed. ‘Now come on, let’s eat breakfast and then I will tell you the plan.’
As soon as Jan entered the kitchen Rudi stood up and hastily began clearing the table. He took away the empty bottles, carrying them outside and tucking those he couldn’t carry beneath his arms. Petr got up then too and he filled a pan with water, which he placed on the stove to heat water for coffee.
‘It is another dangerous mission we will embark on today.’ Jan said, speaking before Jan and Rudi had come back to the table. ‘In short, it is to engage the German army in a skirmish in the centre of a town not far from where we are now.’
None of the group spoke as they listened to Jan. He commanded their attention completely, looking from one face to the next. And as if to confirm his leadership he said, ‘I expect full cooperation from each of you. This is a a mission that will almost certainly involve the loss of lives, it might even be the end of your life.’
Jan then looked at each of the faces around the table - Petr, Rudi, Paul, Katka, all showing no emotion, no reaction at what Jan had said. Only Katka hoped that no fear showed on her face because inside she felt afraid. How could she not at hearing such an ominous warning.
‘Well if we all agree, then we are set.’ said Jan, ‘In mind at least. All I ask is that each of us remember today that we are fighting for the same cause, that we are united against a common enemy, then we shall succeed.’ and on these words he looked at Katka and Petr in turn.
Katka said nothing. Petr nodded then looked at Katka. He did not smile, ony looked at her with an expressionless face, but it was the closest Katka felt she was likely to get to kindness.
‘We will arm ourselves and at midday we will move by truck to the outskirts of this town.’ he placed a map on the table between them. Each of the group leaned forward to see it more clearly, a tattered paper map, so worn it was difficult to read clearly. But Rudi and Petr seemed to recognise at once what it was.
‘The main police station in Kochem.’ Petr exclaimed. ‘It’s where the records are kept!’
Jan nodded.
‘But it will be heavily guarded. It will -’
‘It is our only chance.’ Jan interrupted, ‘within a matter of weeks the Americans will be moving through here and we will not be able to strike as we can now.’
‘So why strike at all?’ Petr demanded, ‘If the Americans will be here in a few weeks then let them strike for themselves when they get here.’
There was a murmur of agreement form Rudi. but immediately it was silenced by Jan, his big fist landing squarely on the centre of the table.
‘And let the Nazis destroy their records before they get here?’ he demanded, ‘Damn it, man! Don’t you understand what we’ve been doing for the last six years. We are fighting these bastards and now we are going to expose them for what they are.’ he looked about the table, and then went on in a slow and measured tone, ‘These are cowards and murderers. Each day they transport more and more innocent people to their deaths in the north. They reward themselves with stolen treasures from the houses they clear out. And today we will be going into that record office and we will be taking hold of whatever files we can.’
At this the group was silent. No one dared even to look up from the table their eyes were now fixed on. And for a long moment, Jan let the silence hang, oppressive like a black curtain, a shadow across the group. Then he said, ‘We have all agreed to sacrifice our lives if we need to. We have all made that vow by joining this group.’
Katka looked up.
‘But thanks to our new friends here we are better armed and stronger in numbers. We will catch the enemy off guard when they are changing shifts after lunch and we will attack with full force.’
‘Will we work alone?’ Petr asked, then added, unsure of whether Jan had fully understood his question, ‘I mean will we be the only group attacking.’
‘The office is only protected by a small devision of SS guards, along with at least two police officers and administration staff.’ he looked about the group, pausing so that he was sure they understood. Then, add clarity to the details of the plan he put his splayed fingers on the folder map and said, ‘This is the office.’ then taking hold of an empty cigarette packet that had been left from the night, he moved it so that it was opposite, ‘and this is the van that we will procure from a contact I have about three kilometres east of the town.’ he went on, and then explained, with the use of these two implements to describe how the plan would work.
‘Once we have the van we will be indistinct. Neither the army nor the police will have seen this vehicle before and when we arrive the street opposite the police archives it will be relatively empty. This will give us time. We can sit then and wait. Once we have determined that the police station is least defended we will attack.’
Rudi appeared as if about to say something, but sensing this Jan went on, ‘You Rudi, will cover the street with fire from the bren gun, you will cover any attack from the north approach of the street.’ he said and mimicked the direction of his gun fire on the make-shift map he had created on the table, ‘And you Petr, will cover the south side of the street.’
Petr and Rudi nodded.
Then turning to Paul he went on, ‘I want you to cover the main doors. If anyone attempts to approach you must neutralise them.‘
By neutralise, Katka understood that he meant kill. She suddenly felt a little sick, sick at the idea that she would see more people being killed today.
‘When the job is done we will leave north along the street, in the opposite direction to the town barracks. We will ditch the van near the forest on the north side of the town and then overnight we will hide out there. We will be well hidden and perfectly safe.’
For a moment the group were silent. Each pondering the action that was about to take place. It was Petr who spoke next, ‘And her.’ he said, gesturing to katka, ‘What will she be doing?’
‘katka will have the most dangerous job of all.’ and then looking directly at Katka said, ‘A job that could almost certainly get you killed, Katka.’
Katka was speechless. Although she wanted to speak, to ask why, ‘Why me?’ she wanted to say, but Jan answered without her needing to ask.
‘Inside, along with records of various crimes committed by the Nazis, we will find the record of your father. You will find out today where he is and what has happened to him.’
Slowly katka nodded.
Then Jan asked, ‘Are there any questions?’
But no one in the group spoke.
All eyes were instead looking at Katka.
‘No.’ he replied, ‘Not today, not until we have rested and we have discussed the plan.’
‘But please.’ Katka begged and she put out her hand in an attempt to stop Jan, to turn him around, to shout at him if necessary, ‘Who is my father, where can I find him?’
But in reply Jan only turned around and roughly took hold of Katka’s hand, gripping it in his big fist so that it hurt. Katka winced at the pain. ‘I said tomorrow.’ he bellowed. Then for a long moment he kept hold of Katka’s arm, stared at her with wide angry eyes before slowly letting go and walking from the room.
Katka rubbed gently at the tender skin of her wrist as she watched him leave. She watched as he walked up the stairs and out of sight and only then did she turn back to the table. As she did so caught sight of Petr. He had been watching, his head lowered and on his face a wicked grin. He looked up at Katka as she took her place again, but he didn’t say a word.
Katka glared at him. She tried to express on her face how much she hated him. He made no effort to conceal the fact that he had enjoyed the argument, he had enjoyed watching Katka suffer and the smile stayed on his face for a long time, until he turned to Rudi, who was still sitting next to Paul, and said something in German and causing him to laugh.
‘What?’ Katka asked, ‘What is it?’
But the men ignored her. They had begun talking about something and they paid no attention to Katka, speaking in German and even Paul became involved in the conversation.
They laughed are laughing at my expense, thought Katka, and this made her hate the two men even more, but what made her angry, what really filled her with rage, was Paul. He had said nothing when Petr and Rudi were laughing at her and now he was talking and joking in German with his two new friends. It was as if he had forgotten about Katka completely.
Katka ran from the room and slammed shut the bedroom door, burying her face in the thick pillow of one of the beds. She screamed, cursed. How could Paul be so fickle, she thought. To be so close a friend for so long and then to act so callously so suddenly.
But despite her rage, it wasn’t long before Katka was asleep. She was more tired that she had thought and even though she could hear the sound of talking from downstairs, and even though she hated them more anything, she drifted into a deep sleep, long and sound and undisturbed by dreams.
But when she woke the next morning her long sleep had done nothing to make her feel refreshed. Instead, when she looked about the room and saw that the other beds had not been slept in because Paul and the two men had spent the entire night drinking in the kitchen, her rage returned at once and she went downstairs at once.
The kitchen was a mess. The table was littered with empty beer bottles and full ashtrays and the three men were asleep, Petr with his head resting on his arms and Rudi on his back on the long bench seat that ran along one side of the table. Paul had just woken up though, he looked up at Katka with bleary morning eyes.
‘What are you, my friend or theirs?’ Katka demanded at once.
Paul acted as if he didn’t know what she meant and gave just a low mumble in reply.
‘So are you one of them now?’ Katka went on, trying to reword her anger and pointing to the table where the three had spent the night. ‘None of the three had made it upstairs last night, where there were enough beds for everyone.’
‘So?’ Paul protested quietly.
‘Since when are you friends with these people?’
‘Be quiet’ Paul said, ‘You’ll wake them -’
‘Wake them?’ Katka scoffed, they’re out cold, ‘Do you not remember that you were up all night, drinking with your new friends?’
‘Katka, please.’ Paul begged, ‘They are not my new friends. No more than they’re your friends. We’re together now, remember? We have to make an effort.’
‘Well you seemed to be getting on pretty well last night.’ Katka spat, ‘And you certainly seemed to be enjoying yourself at my expense.’
‘What are you talking about, Katka. We weren’t -’
‘Yes you were, when I argued with Jan.’
‘No, Katka. You have it al wrong.’ Paul said and he stood up clumsily from the table, knocking an empty bottle to the floor as he did so.
‘Then what?’ She wanted to say, but at the same time realising that it was pointless, that it didn’t matter what he said, it made no difference what they were laughing at. She began to walk away, still angry and without the patience to listen to any more.
‘It was Jan. We were laughing at Jan. not you.’ Paul called after her.
Katka slowed. She had one hand on the banister rail and she was about to walk back upstairs, but she looked back and noticed that Paul had come into the passageway after her. He was behind her, he moved forward and tried to touch her but Katka flinched his hand away, ‘Look, I’m sorry.’ He said, ‘I’m sorry you were upset and I’m sorry you don’t like -’
‘It doesn’t matter, Paul.’ Katka said, a little forcedly.
‘No?’ he said, then looked back towards the table, noticing Rudi was awake. He was rubbing his eyes and looking towards them. Jan went on, speaking more quietly, ‘They are alright, just a little rough around the edges, that’s all.’
Katka looked at them. Like farmers in their dirty clothes, Petr with his bearded face, sunken eyes and cheeks. They looked wild almost, half starved and angry. She let out a long breath and then sat down on the step she had been about to ascend. Paul sat next to her.
‘They have been fighting a long war.’ he said, ‘it’s lasted since Rudi was just a boy. Do you know he’s only the same age as me and he’s been fighting against the Nazis since the very start. Is it any wonder that he is the way he is.’
‘How old was he?’ Katka asked.
Paul shook his head, looked again at the table. ‘I don’t know, thirteen perhaps. He lost his parents to this war. It’s Jan who’s looked after him since then.’ he paused, ‘Katka, come on. We have to accept them the way they are.’
Katka had no answer to this, no comparison to her own life. She even felt a little embarrassed at the way she had felt sorry for herself in the last few days. Although she couldn’t help but still feel bitter at the two figures, crumpled and awful looking at the kitchen table. But it was Petr she especially hated. He was waking now too and he rubbed at his eyes.
‘Petr is different’ Paul admitted, ‘He fought in the first war, he’s been fighting all his life. He told me last night that he was homeless after he left the army, that he lived on the streets and the Nazis tried to take him away. He had to escape.’ Paul paused, ‘We can trust these people, Katka. They are on our side.’
A sudden movement from somewhere above them made both Katka and Paul turn. It was Jan. His big frame momentarily blocked the light on the stairs, ‘We know what we’re doing too.’ he said as he walked the last of the steps, down to where Katka and Paul were sitting. ‘Katka, by the end of the day you will know who your father is, I promise you that.’ He put his hand on Katka’s shoulder as he passed. ‘Now come on, let’s eat breakfast and then I will tell you the plan.’
As soon as Jan entered the kitchen Rudi stood up and hastily began clearing the table. He took away the empty bottles, carrying them outside and tucking those he couldn’t carry beneath his arms. Petr got up then too and he filled a pan with water, which he placed on the stove to heat water for coffee.
‘It is another dangerous mission we will embark on today.’ Jan said, speaking before Jan and Rudi had come back to the table. ‘In short, it is to engage the German army in a skirmish in the centre of a town not far from where we are now.’
None of the group spoke as they listened to Jan. He commanded their attention completely, looking from one face to the next. And as if to confirm his leadership he said, ‘I expect full cooperation from each of you. This is a a mission that will almost certainly involve the loss of lives, it might even be the end of your life.’
Jan then looked at each of the faces around the table - Petr, Rudi, Paul, Katka, all showing no emotion, no reaction at what Jan had said. Only Katka hoped that no fear showed on her face because inside she felt afraid. How could she not at hearing such an ominous warning.
‘Well if we all agree, then we are set.’ said Jan, ‘In mind at least. All I ask is that each of us remember today that we are fighting for the same cause, that we are united against a common enemy, then we shall succeed.’ and on these words he looked at Katka and Petr in turn.
Katka said nothing. Petr nodded then looked at Katka. He did not smile, ony looked at her with an expressionless face, but it was the closest Katka felt she was likely to get to kindness.
‘We will arm ourselves and at midday we will move by truck to the outskirts of this town.’ he placed a map on the table between them. Each of the group leaned forward to see it more clearly, a tattered paper map, so worn it was difficult to read clearly. But Rudi and Petr seemed to recognise at once what it was.
‘The main police station in Kochem.’ Petr exclaimed. ‘It’s where the records are kept!’
Jan nodded.
‘But it will be heavily guarded. It will -’
‘It is our only chance.’ Jan interrupted, ‘within a matter of weeks the Americans will be moving through here and we will not be able to strike as we can now.’
‘So why strike at all?’ Petr demanded, ‘If the Americans will be here in a few weeks then let them strike for themselves when they get here.’
There was a murmur of agreement form Rudi. but immediately it was silenced by Jan, his big fist landing squarely on the centre of the table.
‘And let the Nazis destroy their records before they get here?’ he demanded, ‘Damn it, man! Don’t you understand what we’ve been doing for the last six years. We are fighting these bastards and now we are going to expose them for what they are.’ he looked about the table, and then went on in a slow and measured tone, ‘These are cowards and murderers. Each day they transport more and more innocent people to their deaths in the north. They reward themselves with stolen treasures from the houses they clear out. And today we will be going into that record office and we will be taking hold of whatever files we can.’
At this the group was silent. No one dared even to look up from the table their eyes were now fixed on. And for a long moment, Jan let the silence hang, oppressive like a black curtain, a shadow across the group. Then he said, ‘We have all agreed to sacrifice our lives if we need to. We have all made that vow by joining this group.’
Katka looked up.
‘But thanks to our new friends here we are better armed and stronger in numbers. We will catch the enemy off guard when they are changing shifts after lunch and we will attack with full force.’
‘Will we work alone?’ Petr asked, then added, unsure of whether Jan had fully understood his question, ‘I mean will we be the only group attacking.’
‘The office is only protected by a small devision of SS guards, along with at least two police officers and administration staff.’ he looked about the group, pausing so that he was sure they understood. Then, add clarity to the details of the plan he put his splayed fingers on the folder map and said, ‘This is the office.’ then taking hold of an empty cigarette packet that had been left from the night, he moved it so that it was opposite, ‘and this is the van that we will procure from a contact I have about three kilometres east of the town.’ he went on, and then explained, with the use of these two implements to describe how the plan would work.
‘Once we have the van we will be indistinct. Neither the army nor the police will have seen this vehicle before and when we arrive the street opposite the police archives it will be relatively empty. This will give us time. We can sit then and wait. Once we have determined that the police station is least defended we will attack.’
Rudi appeared as if about to say something, but sensing this Jan went on, ‘You Rudi, will cover the street with fire from the bren gun, you will cover any attack from the north approach of the street.’ he said and mimicked the direction of his gun fire on the make-shift map he had created on the table, ‘And you Petr, will cover the south side of the street.’
Petr and Rudi nodded.
Then turning to Paul he went on, ‘I want you to cover the main doors. If anyone attempts to approach you must neutralise them.‘
By neutralise, Katka understood that he meant kill. She suddenly felt a little sick, sick at the idea that she would see more people being killed today.
‘When the job is done we will leave north along the street, in the opposite direction to the town barracks. We will ditch the van near the forest on the north side of the town and then overnight we will hide out there. We will be well hidden and perfectly safe.’
For a moment the group were silent. Each pondering the action that was about to take place. It was Petr who spoke next, ‘And her.’ he said, gesturing to katka, ‘What will she be doing?’
‘katka will have the most dangerous job of all.’ and then looking directly at Katka said, ‘A job that could almost certainly get you killed, Katka.’
Katka was speechless. Although she wanted to speak, to ask why, ‘Why me?’ she wanted to say, but Jan answered without her needing to ask.
‘Inside, along with records of various crimes committed by the Nazis, we will find the record of your father. You will find out today where he is and what has happened to him.’
Slowly katka nodded.
Then Jan asked, ‘Are there any questions?’
But no one in the group spoke.
All eyes were instead looking at Katka.